i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
