Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
