You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
