He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Randomize
