my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
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