im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Of course I have a pirate flag
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
