I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
