dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
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