Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Dude my mom stole all your condoms
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Randomize
