Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
They took my balls.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Randomize
