I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
ugly people sure do ruin things
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Randomize
