Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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