I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
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