Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
