I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize