btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
