Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
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