Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
