he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Randomize