Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
