I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
i would one night stand the shit outta him
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Randomize
