He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize