Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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