Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
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