He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
