So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
