I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
