WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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