white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Randomize
