I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
