I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize