the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Randomize
