Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Randomize
