all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I checked into jail on foursquare
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
i now understand why vodka
Randomize
