I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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