I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
