That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
