i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
