Heybabeimwearingurpanties
It's Friday. Sex?
if only i could text you this smell
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
pray to the hookup gods
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
there is puke in my bra ... again
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
