hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Randomize
