she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
