Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
only you would photoshop your dick
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
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