dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Randomize
