it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
