I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Randomize
