So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
