That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
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