The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize