lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
