Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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