think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Randomize
