Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
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