doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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