i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize