they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
