Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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