Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
