And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
