we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
