does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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