Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Randomize
