I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
The police scanner is talking about you again....
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize