ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Randomize
