If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
