When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
