Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
