exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
