But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
