It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Randomize
