At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
