there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
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