You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
