I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
