is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
