Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
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