if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
