I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
