rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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