Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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