I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
