no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
