We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
