so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
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