we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize
