just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
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