when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
