Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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