She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
